Category Archives: Middle Aged Matriculate

Imposter Syndrome

The concept of ‘Imposter Syndrome” was communicated to me by a very educated woman that I worked with once.  The concept brought to mind a quandary of thoughts that I had never entertained before.  My beginnings were not the ideal and in my thinking in need of burying as deep as possible.  My experience is that no matter how hard you try to push away from things they more they come up in other ways.  When someone would compliment me on my knowledge of something I would always think “Whew, pulled one over on them.” Which is the basis of imposter thinking.

The result is that I did not pursue the education that I needed for fear of being judged or someone finding out that I am not “as bright” as everyone thought.  This ends of being a self-destructive cycle.  The more I achieved, the more I become fraught with anxiety.  The good part about growing older is that I have embraced some basic precepts. Being honest about my educational background.  I had to be real to free myself to go back to school without feeling embarrassed.  It does separate the wheat from the chaff:-) In the last few years I have had an onslaught of negative personal observations from just about every angle of my life.  The personal downslide helped disconnect from the things that were keeping me from moving forward.

I get about three hits a day from Russia for this site, so I write this blog to help organize my thoughts and if the odd person see this and it helps them, awesome!

Good resource for more information about “Imposter Syndrome”

The College Thing Again

So just a brief update.
My college career is forthcoming, finally. The financial aid has finally come thru and I start a Computer Network Operations AAS Degree.

So the plan looks like this:

AAS Computer Network Operations w/Security for work purposes.  I have been in IT for over 20 years but my skill set is outdated and my Certifications have expired.

After that is completed and gainful employment has been secured, I will start working on an MBA in History.

The interesting part is if I take long enough for the MBA,  I will probably qualify for a senior pass and go to school for free.

Back to School at 49 !

Sooooo,  the featured image has nothing to do with the content of this blog post.  It was simply for the bloggers own viewing pleasure.

My experience in the last 20 years has led me to believe that certifications in IT (CCNA, “All things Comptia” and “All things Microsoft”) have their shelf life for practical work scenarios.  I was just like any other new IT professional and wanted all the certifications that gave me the “Golden Ticket” to jobs and knowledge enough to keep them.  Well the first part is true ….

I have achieved an MCSE x2. I have a hard-earned CCNA. All are expired.  The MCSE was around 10 separate tests for the first MCSE (that is ‘if’ you pass all of em the first time).  The CCNA took a lot of specialized software for router interfaces and 1500.00 for the training software to help one thru the tests and of course the books to supplement.  Fast forward to 12 months later and the excruciating 5 hours of test taking is void enter a new study/software/test experience or Lather, Rinse, Repeat. The sad part is the test taking and studying only give a foundation for the technology and there is nothing like real world experience.

I jumped off that treadmill about 7 years ago and alas I am without valid certs and on the bottom of the barrel for IT jobs.  20 years experience and expired certs just don’t count.

I am headed back to school for a CIS degree.  Just so I can make a living wage.  I will blog about the process as I am very new to applying for and maneuvering around the financial aid waters. It should be fun to be a Menopausal Matriculate.


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