The concept of ‘Imposter Syndrome” was communicated to me by a very educated woman that I worked with once. The concept brought to mind a quandary of thoughts that I had never entertained before. My beginnings were not ideal and in my thinking in need of burying as deep as possible. My experience is that no matter how hard you try to push away from things they more they come up in other ways. When someone would compliment me on my knowledge of something I would always think “Whew, pulled one over on them.” Which is the basis of imposter thinking.
The result is that I did not pursue the education that I needed for fear of being judged or someone finding out that I am not “as bright” as everyone thought. This ends of being a self-destructive cycle. The more I achieved, the more I become fraught with anxiety. The good part about growing older is that I have embraced some basic precepts. Being honest about my educational background. I had to be real to free myself to go back to school without feeling embarrassed. It does separate the wheat from the chaff:-) In the last few years I have had an onslaught of negative personal observations from just about every angle of my life. The personal downslide helped disconnect from the things that were keeping me from moving forward.
I get about three hits a day from Russia for this site, so I write this blog to help organize my thoughts and if the odd person see this and it helps them, awesome!
A good resource for more information about “Imposter Syndrome” http://www.forbes.com/sites/margiewarrell/2014/04/03/impostor-syndrome/